


Activate Kill Mode; I'm Sorry

by Yousaydoctorisaywho



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Consequences, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Peter Parker, Iron Dad, Kill Mode, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Please Don't Kill Me, Protective Peter Parker, Shock, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, iron dad and spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-04 10:12:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16344839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yousaydoctorisaywho/pseuds/Yousaydoctorisaywho
Summary: It's all fun and games until someone tries to hurt Peter's best friendORThe one where Peter panics and kill mode becomes his only option and he must deal with the consequences because after all; with great power, comes great responsibility.





	1. Save me

The weekend is something that everybody looks forward to, no matter what age they are. For Peter, Ned, and MJ, it’s always them hanging out on the weekend. Sometimes it’s watching movies, going bowling, going to the comic store; really anything since they live in New York. This weekend, though, MJ was going on vacation with an old friend leaving the two boys to fend for themselves. Aunt May had double shifts on the same weekend so Ned and Peter knew instantly that they would be able to do whatever they wanted at the apartment. Now, since they both are quite nerdy boys, they weren’t throwing a party but were planning a movie marathon. Peter had told Mr. Stark he was having a boy’s night and he was welcome to come but for some reason, this weekend everybody was busy. In a way, it worked out considering Peter and Ned got to spend time together one on one. At the end of the school day, Peter and Ned planned to meet up, go to the store to buy snacks, and then rent some movies from the Red Box stands outside supermarkets. It was going to be perfect. Lately, Peter had been on edge for the longest time, constantly looking around and thinking someone was out to get him. Maybe it had to do with the whole “A Building Literally Fell On Me” or something, but regardless, Peter has been tense. Mr. Stark had been working with him for the past couple of weeks on how to get out of that zone of tension, but nothing seemed to be working. If he thought of something that worried him or for a split second he was scared, he would freeze up and it was as though his mind went somewhere else while his body was forced to stay wherever he was; and he hated it. It scared Peter to think that during a fight he could freeze up and instantly be hurt, and that fear was shared with Tony and they constantly were trying to find a way to work it out. That’s why, when Tony said he couldn’t join the movie night due to work, Peter knew internally that it was code for, “you need to relax and spend time with people”. So, now it’s just him and Ned, dealing with school before they were allowed to do their movie night.

“Peter!” Ned exclaimed as he ran towards his best friend. “You ready for tonight?”

Peter smiled softly at his antics. “Oh totally, it’s going to be great! I haven’t watched the series in a long time!” He chattered as the two of them began to walk down the hall to their class. “And the newest one is coming out in theaters next week!”

Ned grinned as he kept up his pace, bumping into several people along the way, his backpack managing to defy all laws of science and swinging side to side, smacking people in the chest. Unfortunately, one of the people he hit had to be Flash who was not prepared and smashed into the locker.

“WHAT THE HELL?!” He screeched, reaching forward, grabbing the handle of Ned’s backpack and yanking him backward, causing him to sprawl on the floor.

Peter turned around quickly and saw his best friend laying on the floor, staring at Flash whose hands were curled into fists on his side. “Flash why did you do that?” 

“He hit me into the locker, Penis!” Flash hissed, pointing a finger menacingly at him. “You’re lucky I don’t knock you down either.”

“I didn’t even do anything.” Peter protested, growing annoyed.

“Guilt by association,” Flash growled out, sparing one glare at Ned and an aggressive nudge from his shoulder at Peter as he walked down the hallway, shouting at people to get out of the way.

Peter rolled his eyes as he watched his bully walk down the hall. Quickly going over and giving Ned a hand to stand up, he let out a short sigh. “I don’t understand why he has to get so angry all the time.”

Ned brushed his jeans of any dust and shouldered his backpack. “He’s just... mean. It’s like his superpower. You have the power of spiders and he has the power of being a jerk.”

Peter grinned with a laugh. “Nice one, Ned.”

Ned grinned as well. “Thanks, I’ve been planning that one for weeks.”

The two boys didn’t give much thought to Flash’s outburst as they went about their day, wishing it was over so they could go and watch a movie marathon. Everything had been so stressful for the past couple of weeks. As the last class of the day came about, Ned and Peter sat next to each other as Flash walked in, narrowing his eyes at the two.

“Listen here Penis, you and your weak side kick better watch out when you leave school. I’m getting really sick of your shit, like lying about the Stark internship or walking into me and I think you should be aware of it.” Flash spit at the ground in front of them for good measure (to which Peter made a noise of disgust and wrinkled his nose) and walked away, pointing two fingers at them as he sat in his seat.

Peter looked up at the teacher and saw that she saw the entire exchange but quickly looked away when she saw Peter paying attention to her. “Are you kidding me?” Peter grumbled and folded his arms, resting his chin on them as the lecture continued, Ned doing the same.

They left class quickly but Flash was quicker as he ran out the entrance. “Great... Ned we got to find another path back to my apartment, I can’t protect you.”

Ned frowned. “What do you mean? You do violent gymnastics for a living!”

“Violent gymnastics?” Peter echoed but just let out a sigh. “I know I have the ability but I can’t- I’m not allowed to just use them on him! He could easily find out that I’m, you know.”

Ned bit his lip as he pulled out his phone and loaded up Google Maps. “I guess you have a point, plus didn’t you say you’ve been really tense? What if you, I don’t know, lose control?”

Peter shook his head. “I can control the powers, that’s not the issue, I just don’t want you to get hurt because I got a healing complex, but you don’t.”

The boys walked out the doors and scanned the area and saw that Flash’s car was missing and none of his regular gang friends were around. 

“I know which way to go, it’s in the other part of the city but- “

“Peter,” Ned warned. “Don’t tell me we’re going down Fitzgerald’s way?” Peter bit his lip and refused to make eye contact causing Ned to drop his mouth open. “No. Peter, I would rather take my chances with Flash then getting stabbed!”

“Wait,” Peter whines as Ned began to walk ahead of him. “What if I wore my Spider-Man costume? Then I can actually protect you and we don’t have to worry about Flash and everything.”

Ned bit his lip. “But won’t it look weird with me walking with, you know, Spider-man?”

Peter waved his hand dismissively. “I’ll only put it on when we get to the sketchy areas, I’ll duck into the alleyway and it’ll be fine!”

Ned sighed. “Alright. Fine; but if we see Flash don’t worry about me, just jump and stay out of sight.”

“What?!” Peter yelped. “No way! I’m not leaving my best friend to get, like, beat up! No way man.”

Ned tolled his eyes and shouldered his backpack. “Fine, but let’s get going, I don’t want it to get dark cause then we won’t have enough time to watch the movie AND work on a new LEGO set.... who am I kidding, of course we have time cause it’s- “

“A SLEEPOVER!” Peter and Ned said, high fiving each other.

They heard MJ call them nerds as she walked past them and to the car, but they just smiled and began their trek.  
————————  
It started off normal, the alleyways just becoming a little bit less lit than the others and the homes seemed to be in worse condition. Some of the windows had bars on them and Peter stared at each of them, wondering if a monster or criminal would pop and go ‘BOO’! They turned another corner and Ned groaned.

“I hate Google Maps, every-time I turn when it tells me to, it says recalculating!”

Peter chuckled and stopped behind a dumpster, putting his backpack down. “It’s fine, Ned, it’s close to the path we always take, and the area looks familiar so as long as we follow it, for now, we’ll be fine. Let me just change now cause my Spidey-sense is on edge.”

Ned widened his eyes, turning abruptly towards Peter who had just finished putting it on, the Iron Spider gleaming and casting bright light across the walls. “Your Spidey-sense?! Doesn’t that mean there’s someone bad nearby?”

Peter scrunched up his face as he looked around, making sure the tech was active. “Not necessarily, sometimes it just acts up if someone nearby is doing something bad and since we’re right near homes something could be happening indoors.”

Ned nodded in understanding as they began walking again. “W-well let me know if you sense something up ahead cause I could, I don’t know, punch someone. I’m your guy in the chair, remember?”

“But you’re not in a chair or on a headset.”

“But I’m talking to you, so it counts,” Ned grumbled aloud, causing Peter to chuckle.

It was quiet as they walked, fully aware they still had a bit to go cause this was the detour route thanks to Flash. The distant roar of traffic was the only thing that led them to know and understand they were still in the city. But that calmness ended abruptly as Peter’s hair stood up on end, a wave of nausea rushing through him.

“Ned-“Peter began but was cut off by his best friend letting out a confused scream.

Turning around, Peter’s eyes widened as he saw 3 guys, one of them holding Ned, a knife to his neck and the other two holding guns pointed at him.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Spidey himself!” One of them taunted. “We’ve been DYING to meet you!”

The other guys laughed at the joke and Peter would’ve been sarcastic if he wasn’t on the verge of a panic attack. God, they had Ned and here he was standing there not able to do anything. He couldn’t freak out, come on Peter you can’t-

“Are you listening to me?!” One of them yelled, causing Peter to snap out of it and Ned whimpering in response.

“What?” Peter whispered.

“I said, if you don’t pull off your mask and show us who you are, your friend is going to get a nice scar on his neck!”

Peter clenched his fists. Enough was enough he had to do something or he was gonna get hurt. “And if you even think about doing that, you’re going to get a nice visit to the jail!”

Ok.

Not your best work, Peter.

The criminals laughed and suddenly one of the guns went off. Peter quickly moved and shot a web, grabbing the gun from one of them and using that, he swung the web around and smacked the bad guy in the head.

“Didn’t you hear the saying? You’ll shoot your eye out!” Peter taunted as the gun had managed to also hit the guy in the eye; that bruise is not going to look pretty. 

“Why you-!” Another one began but just as Peter was ready to dodge it, the criminal turned and pointed the gun at Ned. And that was when everything went wrong. Peter watched in stunned silence as he cocked the gun and that was when all of his senses went into overload. He heard his heartbeat in his ears, the blood rushing through his body. He barely remembers the words that left his mouth as pure anger and anxiety went through his body like an electric current.

“Karen, activate kill mode.” It was said so slow, so slow that he knew it was happening but all he saw was Ned’s face, fear etched across it and tears flooding down his face, the knife held against his neck digging slightly to cause an angry red line.

He barely registered the moment his webs shot out, electricity at such high voltage that it could instantly.... kill. Everything was still moving slow, and just as the web hit the man with the gun, Peter could faintly hear Ned yelling, “NO!” 

It was normal speed now, and Peter whipped his web away as the man with the gun screeched in anguish and fell to the floor, gun dropping as well and firing past Peter. He was breathing heavily and rapidly as his heart beat faster than ever before. He had to get the knife away, Peter just- he- he just-

“You... you killed him.” The guy with the knife whispered, dropping his knife, causing Ned to quickly run away and behind Peter, who was still staring, his eyes red and kill mode still active. Oh god. Wait.

“K-Karen oh my G-God turn it off- turn it off please, please turn it off.” Peter sobbed, suddenly dropping to his knees as he stared at the man in front of him, body shaking slightly as the electricity still ran through him. “I’m s-sO sorry, I didn’t- I didn’t mean to-“

“You’ve done enough.” The man with the knife growled out. “GET OUT OF HERE.” He yelled, raising his knife.

Peter stood up quickly and grabbed Ned’s hand as they fled down the alleyway. God how was he walking, he just. Oh god- he killed someone.

“Peter-“

He actually did it, after he vowed and promised and KNEW he would never do that.

“Peter?”

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility. He failed him, he failed his uncle.

“Peter I’m calling Mr. Stark, you’re shaking really bad.”

What about Mr. Stark? Oh... yeah... him too. He probably hated Peter, he probably thought so much of him and thought he was the one to protect New York but no... he hurt them. He went against everything he was taught-

“... stark, I don’t understand we-no, he’s still with me, but we were attacked and- “

Everything that he was supposed to be. ‘You can’t be a friendly neighborhood Spider-man if there’s no neighborhood’. Yeah.

The neighborhood’s still there but should Peter? No... he’s ruining it. 

“... track his location? Yeah, uh, he isn’t speaking, he just is clenching my hand and shaking really bad- no he wasn’t hurt.... I don’t think- “

No, Peter was fine, but the other people weren’t. And whose fault was that? Nothing but his, he screwed up big time and- Wait, is Mr. Stark gonna take his suit away again? 

“Pete?” A calm male voice echoed in his mind.

The daze that Peter was in faded quickly as he recognized the voice of his mentor. “M’ster Stark?”

Tony’s voice chuckled on the other line as it was put on speaker, but it was obvious it was strained. “Hey buddy, listen, I’m going to have you do something for me, okay?”

Peter stared at the phone in response, glancing up at Ned who was looking at him with concern. “Okay.” Wait a minute, there’s a blood on Ned’s neck. “I did that....”

“Peter? Hey,” a voice called again but Peter’s heartbeat started escalating again. “Peter listen to me you need to focus on my voice.”

“Peter come on listen to Mr. Stark, this wasn’t you it was the other guys.” Ned said, his voice wavering slightly. “I’m really worried, come on I’m your man in the chair and you’re the hero.”

That seemed to gain Peter’s attention as he nodded, and he heard Tony’s worried voice echo through the phone. “Peter those guys that attacked you are fine, ok? I tracked them down and we’ll see what to do then, but for right now, I don’t know if he has other guys sent out to attack you and you need to protect Ned, you hear me? Protect. Ned.”

Those last two words struck a violent chord within Peter as he suddenly stood up, knees wobbling. “I-I’ll protect him with my life, I won’t let you down again.”

There was a sigh on the other line and a machine turning on. “You’ve never let me down, Pete, it’s not your fault.” And hung up.

Peter took a shuddering breath and turned to Ned, smoothing out his suit. “I’m sorry, Ned.”

Ned clapped a hand on Peter’s spandex shoulder. “Don’t apologize, you saved me.”

Images flashed in front of Peter’s eyes as he saw the electricity course through the other man’s body. “I know I saved... you.”

Ned just nodded. “Exactly, but we got to get out of here.”

Peter nodded and jogged alongside Ned as they went through the different alleyways. Every single person they saw made Peter tense up and his senses go into a hyper-mode. His protective instincts were on full force; whether that be a good thing or a bad thing. They kept jogging and suddenly Ned grabbed Peter’s hand and pulled him behind a dumpster. “We’re about to go out in the streets, you might want to take off the suit, right?”

Peter nodded mutely, not trusting himself to speak. He pressed the center of his suit and watched as it became loose and he slid it off as Ned put down Peter’s backpack (Peter didn’t even notice Ned take it) and pulled out his clothes. Slipping it on and looking at his shaking hands, he gulped audibly and shut his eyes, breathing calmly. He couldn’t get his mind off of it, he couldn’t get his mind off the feeling of doing it-

“Peter,” a voice called, and Peter looked and saw Ned smiling softly before squeezing his friend’s hand. “We gotta keep going, Mr. Stark is going to pick us up, okay?”

“Is your neck okay?” Peter mumbled guiltily.

Ned just nodded and pulled his friend along. “I’m okay don’t worry.”

Peter nodded in a dazed sense as they walked down the crowded street. People bumped into Peter who was staring at the ground, refusing to look up cause he felt like he was gonna be sick. He heard a car honk but barely registered it as Ned tugged Peter towards it. He felt calloused hands grab his face and gently pull up until he was face to face with his mentor.

“Shit. He’s in shock.” Mr. Stark murmured, glancing at Ned. “How about you kid? You doing okay? You literally were held at knife point- and gun point; Jesus are you okay?”

Peter’s vision was slightly blurry as he turned and dazedly look at Ned. “Are you okay?”

Ned frowned and looked at Tony. “I don’t want to be rude, Mr. Stark, but I think Peter is about to pass out.”

Tony looked back over at Peter as he turned as well, and his eyes rolled to the back of his head, his knees crumbling and Tony sweeping him up quickly. And that’s all Peter remembered as he succumbed to the darkness, a pair of strong arms holding him and telling him it was going to be okay.... did Peter believe it? Not one bit.


	2. Holding On

The first thing Peter saw, was a bouquet of flowers and 5 video game disks stacked on top of each other, the top one open and the disk missing. Peter rubbed his eyes and flinched when he felt something cold and thin hit him in the face. Pulling his hands back he saw an IV in his hand and a heartbeat monitor placed on his finger. He narrowed his eyes and all of the sudden the memories came back.

Karen.

Kill mode.

The electricity.

The man on the ground, shaking.

Ned.

The knife.  
..........  
“Oh god.” Peter whispered, letting his head hit the pillow with a thud.

“Pete?” A gruff voice called. Peter looked to the other side and saw Tony Stark sitting in an armchair, impossibly close to the bed and watching him carefully. “You alright? How you feeling?”

“I..... I don’t know.” Peter answered honestly, tears pricking his eyes. “Mr. Stark I-I k-k-“

“Save your breath, kid, don’t worry it’s okay.” Tony hushed, placing a hand on his arm. “The guy you think you killed is okay, he was close but we managed to save him. He’s in the infirmary.”

Peter’s eyes widened. “Can I visit him?”

Tony’s eyes widened and he let out a disbelieved laugh. “You... you want to visit him? He almost killed you.”

“I know but... I’m not going to be okay if I don’t see him. I need to make sure he’s alive.” Peter mumbled, his hands becoming very interesting.

Tony dragged a hand down his face and sighed. “Pete I’m not at all comfortable with that... but I understand. As long as I’m in the room with you when you talk; I guess we can go. Just don’t tell your aunt or she will probably steal one of my suits and beat me up with it. Let me call the nurse first cause frankly I don’t trust that you’re okay yet.”

Peter just nodded and studied his hands. They were calloused looking and there were some faint bruises on them. He looked at the IV in his arm and suddenly felt sick as he looked away. He almost killed someone, how can it be possible that he’s thinking of that right now? How is it possible that he just lost control and did that? He’s been really tense and stressed, sure, but never to the point where he... even admitting it out loud sent a jolt of pain through his body. Why... why did he have to go and do that? Everything would’ve been fine if he had just... just focused on something else so he didn’t get so... upset.

“Pete?” A voice called, causing him to turn his head towards the door. “Mr. Stark asked for me to look you over if that’s alright. Don’t worry, I’m part of Dr. Banner’s team so you’re safe.” Peter nodded hesitantly as she came over and started to look over him. “How are you mentally? You were in a state of shock when we saw you and you still seem to be quite dazed, are you anxious right now?”

Peter bit his lip. “Yeah... I’m, I mean, I guess I’m feeling.... better, but I want to see the man who was brought in around the same time, please.”

The nurse pressed the cold stethoscope on his chest and nodded. “Besides your mental state and your rapid heartbeat, you should be okay to go but I would rather you are with a guardian.”

“Mr. Stark said he would go with me.” Peter said, voice barely above a whisper. 

The nurse smiled softly. “Well then I guess I can’t keep you from go- “

“PETER!” A shrill voice called. Peter turned just in time to see Aunt May, tears in her eyes as she wrapped him up in a hug. “Peter oh my god, are you okay?! I got the call and I got here as soon as possible- Peter please don’t do that again! Tony said you were speaking or anything and I was so- oh honey I was so scared that you were never going to be yourself or if Ned was hurt or- “

“May,” Peter said gently, smiling slightly. “I’m... fine, I was overwhelmed and some things happened but I’m okay, no injuries or anything.”

“No?” May echoed, brushing a hand through his curly hair. “Well, then in that case.... WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? Peter you can’t do this to me! You can’t do this to- to anybody! What if you- “

May cut herself off and just bowed her head hand resting on his shoulder. Tears welled up in Peter’s eyes as he sniffles. Tony entered the room again and stared at the two and sighed.

“Hey May, I’m gonna go for a walk with the kid, alright? I know you haven’t slept so you should rest.”

“You haven’t either.” May said accusingly, sitting up and grasping Peter’s hand. “But I guess you’re right... once you’re back though you’re napping too.”

Tony arched his eyes brows in surprise of the woman ordering him but he just nodded and went over, helping Peter out of bed. “Can you stand on your own, kid?”

Peter shrugged and planted his feet down, knees buckling slightly and he felt the arms around him tighten in worry but he raised a single hand as a way of saying he’s okay. Why is he helping him? Peter killed someone. He disobeyed him. 

“Peter?” Tony’s voice questioned. Looking up he saw Mr. Stark frowning at him. “You alright? You’re really quiet.”

Peter just nodded and began walking, Tony’s arm draped under his arms in case he fell. They walked down the hallway in silence, passing by some nurses who looked at him in worry. Peter tensed up and he instantly felt Tony rubbing his back. They approached a door that was guarded by two officers and the door had a special code needed to enter. Peter shivered as Tony spoke to the two men who nodded and let them pass, Tony typing in the code and opening it for the two of them to enter. Peter swallowed nervously as he saw two more doors, hand prints needed. Before he could move forward, Tony placed a hand on his chest and when Peter looked down he saw his mask and watch that could activate his suit. Peter let out a harsh breath and put it all on, looking at his gloved hands and feeling a wave of nausea rush through him. Tony rubbed his back once more before letting them in and suddenly there he was. The guy. But he wasn’t dead but his body looked scarred, red, and there were thick lines that looked like branches all over his body cause he wasn’t wearing a shirt, only these white pants. His head was in his hands and he seemed to be breathing heavily.

“Kid? You sure you can handle this?” Tony mumbled in his ear.

Peter nodded jerkily. “Y-yeah. I’ll be fine.”

Peter took a step forward and almost screamed when the guy snapped his head up, eyes narrowing. “You.”

“Me?” Peter squeaked.

The guy wanted to stand but his legs and hands were chained to each other. “You’re the Spider-kid that electrocuted me. My heart stopped cause of you.”

Peter expected himself to feel guilty but instead all he felt was anger. “You were holding a knife and gun to my fri- civilian! You can’t just go around and do that! He could’ve died and it would’ve been my fault because there are people LIKE YOU, who walk around thinking it’s okay to ruin other people’s lives just because your own sucks!”

Peter didn’t realize he had been yelling until a hand rested on his shoulder, squeezing once. The criminal seemed to be lost at words but scowled. “I’m going to be scarred for life and I have a wife and kids and she can barely look at me. I could’ve died and left them behind.”

“THEN STOP!” Peter basically screamed. “Stop hurting people! I hurt you and I felt terrible. I felt I let everyone down; Mr. Stark, my aunt, my uncle, my parents, my friends, and myself. Because of you. I’ve never had to do that before. I’ve never wanted to do that. I promised myself even if I was in danger but at that time I just didn’t know what to do. I’ve been stressed and haven’t slept and I just don’t know what to do most days. And- and frankly, Mr. Criminal, if you want to keep your family together, stop hurting people because you’re just going to hurt yourself. That’s what I try to do. And the one time I do hurt someone, I hurt myself big time.”

The criminal just rolled his eyes but there was something in the look he gave him that showed he understood and even though it was small, Peter felt better knowing that. He didn’t smile at the criminal though, because there was still a part of him that was angry at him. Angry that he even had to go there in the first place. He’s young, he shouldn’t have to stop someone from killing his best friend. And hopefully he would understand that. Peter slowly stood up and just nodded at the criminal before turning and leaving the room. He felt himself shaking but he tried his best to ignore that because what else could he do? He left in a hurry and brushed past Tony who immediately followed next to him. 

“Kid?” Tony asked quietly.

Peter let out a shaky breath. “Yeah?”

Tony’s face changed and suddenly there were two strong arms wrapped around Peter and he jerked in confusion, but the grip tightened. Peter felt tears welling up in his eyes and suddenly he couldn’t hold it in anymore and he just.... cried. He let it out. He let out the pain and the fear as he gripped Tony back, hands grabbing at the back of his jacket to just hold on.

And that’s exactly what Peter was doing; holding on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was rather short and cheesy but I felt like it was a good ending, neither happy or sad and I think that's exactly how Peter and Tony would've handled this. Thanks for reading and as usual if you have any prompts let me know!


End file.
